from now on my penis is your penis
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We are two peas in an std pod
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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