Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
