He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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