Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
