i jhust puked up my retainher.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize