gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
