I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
