No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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