and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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