Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A bitchslap is in order.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
