I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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