discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
