I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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