if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
