3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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