hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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