A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
