I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
