This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
