I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
