im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
