So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ok first of all what the fuck
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
