is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
