remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
