ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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