i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
