I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
