can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
