I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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