i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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