a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize