You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
