dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
