did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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