I don't think brook has ever known best
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize