I want to have your abortion
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
