Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
