I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
