Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
