I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
