i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found a bag of teeth...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize