theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
