She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
