so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
