If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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