I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
operation have a gay friend backfired
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
