Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize