I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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