This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize