its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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