just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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