He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize