he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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